The Inner Circle of Dante's Inferno

Oh the things I do JUST to ensure I have somewhere to live next year... (P.S. this is the very, very abbreviated version because I'm getting sick of telling the real version. I've told it in detail probably 4 times already - UGH)

Saturday morning, Sarah Gambles, Sara Jenkins, Mehlanie, Haylee and I woke up disgustingly early and voluntarily sat-slash-laid outside - on cement. Also - it was February. We sort of did it in shifts. we all were together from 4-5, then from 5-7, Haylee and I "slept" (read: talked) in Sarah's car while Sarah and Mehlanie stayed in line (watching Sleeping Beauty - not that that matters at all). Then from 7 to 9 Haylee and I held down our spots in line while Sarah and Mehlanie went to get breakfast from the vending machines back at Helaman. It was not too bad at first, but as the sun rose - the temperature dropped. Oh man. Haylee didn't even have socks on - just tights and pajama pants! It was crazy. We layed there for a good couple hours until Sarah and Mehlanie returned with a BOUNTY. Turns out they went to the Cannon instead and snuck out a bunch of food for us. The contraband included two muffins, a bagel (with 2 packets of cream cheese), a donut, and (wait for it) AN ENTIRE LOAF OF BREAD!!! It was glorious - and probably illegal so... even better.

Here are some pictures from the 5-7 shift. 

Haylee: "Get one with my signature bottom lip!"

To answer your question - yes, I'm wearing a hoodie AND a jacket. On top of the hoodie. And my hair was being Struggly McStruggleson. 

The best part about this story is that we got a contract! Despite being there at 4 in the morning, we were not, in fact, the first people in line. There was a group of guys and one of girls in front of us. So it took FOREVER. The office doors opened for registration at 10 in the morning and we didn't get in until 11:15 or so. Crazy. Also - I'm ultra, ultra excited because I have wonderful roommates!! Haylee (pictured above), Kelsey, Lizzy, Alycia, and Alanna! Also, we're right next door to Sarah and Ashley Gambles, Mehlanie, and Sara Jenkins.  Let me just explain something about Sarah Gambles. This is her profile picture on Facebook - it pretty much sums up all you need to know about her. 

And that, my friends, is one of the many reasons why I love her.

"Doofus"

I feel like this word should be spelled, "Dufuss" or "Doofuss" - I don't know exactly why. I think it's because it would imply that this person is making an unecessary fuss out of things. Or as Andrew might say, making a mountain out of clay. 

Blissfully Ignorant

I'm a learner. I LOVE seeking new facts and mastering new concepts, but I'll admit there are times when I'd prefer to be in the dark. 

Michael Phelps - This guy... MAN! For a glimmery little moment, he gave me (and many other people, worldwide) hope that there are good, hard working youth today (<--- why do I feel like a 45 year old NRA member when I say that?). I loved thinking about him just being a Mamma's boy, staying at home, eating his 12,000,000 calories a day, and swimming. But the recent news about him is so SAD! Can we not have ONE upstanding citizen for a national hero?

Hot Dogs - I don't know the scary stuff that might get put in to my Costco brand polish dog. I don't know and I don't WANT to know. All I know is that I love them. 

Jackson 5 - I went through a pretty severe Michael Jackson phase. While I'm still a big fan, and still have every little inflection in every word to each of his songs engraven upon my heart... I am not devoting as much time to him as I used to. A couple summers ago (in the heat of my fiery love for him) I read a 500+ page biography that chronicled his early life to his years with the Jackson 5, to the exciting beginning of his solo career, through the King of Pop years until around 2001. We do not discuss nor think bout his life after about 1995. But I remember that what most struck me as heartbreaking about his life (well, at least the part that I acknowledge to be his "life") was his years in the Jackson 5. That time was really Hell for him. I learned things about how awful his older brothers and Dad were. And about how Motown records and Berry Gordy took advantage of their talent and exploited them so much... more than I ever would want to believe. On stage, they'd put the brothers all up there, with their instruments, but they'd never let them actually record together, or have any input on songs. And worst of all, because they were so financially desperate when they signed on, the terms of their contracts were RIDICULOUS, and made each of the brothers basically a slave to Motown. I wish I didn't know that. I wish I could believe it when Michael belts out, "I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day!" But I can't. Because I know.

David Cassidy - Here's another celebrity. Man. I like to apotheosize people so much that when I find out they're actually human, flawed and all, I'm disappointed. With David, it was that I fell in love with him as Keith Partridge. What a dreamboat! But I did a little research on him to find out more (BIG MISTAKE). I learned that he hated Keith Partridge, and didn't want to be associated with "Bubblegum Pop" at all. So he went solo, and he lived like a true "rock" star in the 70's (I'll leave that up to your imagination, but if you're wondering whether he did, tried, or smoked it, you're probably right) and broke my little heart. The worst part is... his solo music wasn't really that different from the Partridge Family music. So he rebelled and stripped himself of all morals, but didn't even change this image, really. DUMB, David, dumb.

Lastly, Dumbledore. That is all.

F to the R to the ESCA!

I love it. There aren't many drinks in this little world of ours that I love as much as I love Fresca. I probably have a bottle like this every other day, and then I have it every time I go to the Canon Center. And I get it every time I'm at the CougarEat. Wow, I'm sortof surprising myself by how much of this I really do consume. I just can't get over how subtly tasty it is - and automatically sugar free! What a treat. 

Thank you, Fresca gods! Thank you for making such a delightful little drink for me to enjoy. 

T.A.A.Q.

T.A.A.Q. = The Analogy and Acronym Queen. Lately, this has been me. I have been making analogies like a mad woman (here we go again). Also, I've been unnecessarily acronymizing things. Not like, slang - just normal things that could just as easily be said right out. And I usually have to explain what they are anyway - which totally defeats the purpose. Oh man. 

BAPTB (back to the analogy portion of this blog) (<--- sick, that one was much too forced): a favorite analogy of mine made by Kevin Powell in Hot Rod. Referring to a video of  his step-brother doing stunts: "It's been bouncing around the web like a beach ball at a Nickleback concert!"

Love.

Embarrassingly Ignorant...

Alright - let's get something straight. I'm not a dumb head, but it's been established that I sometimes am a bit of a late bloomer in comprehending words or phrases. I've got some more that are just DOOZIES! Here are some things that I have only just recently understand/"got."

I would preface this with a, "Don't laugh," but that would be futile. So instead I will advise, "Enjoy!"

"Wake me up, before you go - girl." This catchy little hit by Wham! called Jitterbug got a different meaning when I was severely berated for mis singing the actual lyrics which are apparently, "Wake me up, before you go - go." Which makes less sense, but DOES rhyme better. I like my version more. But still, a great song.

"Baby Gluteus" This is one of my more awkward misunderstandings. Here's the backstory: the epic combination of Mr. Michael Jackson and Mr. Paul McCartney pooped out a great song called "Say, Say, Say." There's a line that Michael sings with great passion and plosive power (even more so than usual, if you can believe it) (also, that was a nice use of alliteration. Unintentional.) that says, "and baby through the years - you know cryin' ooh ooh ooh ooh OOH!" But I always heard it as "baby gluteus" instead of "baby through the years."  I'm just sayin...

As far as thee, I can see. Yes, that's what I thought the phrase was. Obviously the real phrase is "as far as the eye can see," but I sorta prefer my version. MY version can be interpreted in two ways. One: I can see as far as you can see. Meh, dec (as in short for decent). But two: I can only see to you - my thoughts are never farther than you. Kindof a sweet sentiment, right?

"God, our strength will be pressed forward." This line from the hymn Called to Serve ACTUALLY reads (sings?) "God our strength will be - press forward." I guess the real version makes a lot more sense because why would someone address God, pause, then continue to inform Him that "our strength will be pressed forward"?

Daydreams. Okay, am I the ONLY person in the world who misunderstood this concept? Until literally about a month ago, I thought a daydream was a dream that you have while you're taking a nap during the day. Makes sense, right? A day - dream! But no, apparently you are actually AWAKE while having a day dream. Since when? Well, since the beginning of time, apparently. My roommate Kelsey and friend Lizzy had to explain that actually, a day dream is just when your mind wanders off and you start to fantasize about things (I was under the crazy impression that these incidences were just called "fantasies" or - "having an imagination"). Now I am overly excited to use the phrase, and throw it in (with unnecessary emphasis on the daydream part) quite often.

"the greatest spindle" Michael Jackson's "Wanna be Startin' Somethin'" is a great song, but not the best example of crisp diction. To be honest, it's one of his more slurry songs. Still great, but I'm just saying that if I was confusing "the greatest spindle" with the actual "the pain is thunder," then either it's way too slurry or my hearing is going out on me at the tender age of 18. Or both.

Head Poncho does not equal Head Honcho. Need I explain more?

"Well you done, done me in your bed - I felt it!" This line from Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" caused me some distress for some time because I thought that it was worse than the actual, "Well you done done me and you bet I felt it." Thanks Jason.

Alright, (<--- holy, how many times have I started a sentence like this? Seems like too many...) so far these have not been that bad. I mean, really, how was I supposed to know that day dreams weren't actual dreams? And song lyrics.. HeLLO! Everyone mis hears lyrics from time to time. This next one though is quite a shame. Actually  - it's probably my worst one yet.

Prehistoric Gandhi. For a great, great portion of my life, I thought that Gandhi, as in, Mahatma Gandhi lived B.C. I don't know why my brain didn't figure out that SINCE I HAD SEEN PHOTOGRAPHS OF HIM, he couldn't possibly have lived B.C., but it didn't. Instead it interpreted the robes and impoverished Indian people as some kind of pre-Messianic prophet/do-gooder. 

Yeah... pretty rough, right? Feel free to mock, I know I have!

Confession #228

I've convinced myself that Phil Collins, who actually looks like THIS:

Is John Locke from LOST. I can't listen to Collins' music without picturing Mr. Locke. I know it's wrong, but I don't want to change. 

We're Baa-aaack!

I've been in sort of a blogging fog lately, not being able to finish any posts. I don't know whether to call it a writer's block or what, but Mika inspired me to come back.

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the concert, so I was a little glum. I all wore black all day (yes, including to church) to symbolize the lack of color in my life since he left. (<--- Did I mention I'm lame?)

Yesterday also happened to be the 51st Grammy Awards. I didn't watch because... 90+% of those "musicians" awarded are stupid. That is NOT music, people. With very few exceptions, no real music has been produced and popularized in the last 20 years.

So, double whammy of a bummer day yesterday. Sad anniversary, AND disgusting reminder of the pathetic state of "music" these days.

Today, however, proved to be better! I found a thread showing a bunch of pictures from Mika at  an after party from last night! His first public shoot in a long while, and oh baby oh baby, he was looking fantastic!

For the record - this is his ultimate hair. Much better than his weirdo Ken combover, and also better than when it's TOO curled. Also, he's sporting his Louboutin shoes that he had custom made (see his 2nd DVD if you don't know what I'm talking about).

Also, please take note of his pin (brooch?) Yes, it's a flying saucer. I might have an circuitry OVERLOAD! X-Files + Mika with ultimate hair = Too hot to handle.

Epitome of the 90's

I just want to say that last night I made some ringtones. Among said ringtones was THIS little gem.  Feel free to be jealous.

P.S. Yes, I put the whole song on there. I had to go through and delete a bunch of pictures to make room for it. Overkill? Maybe. Worth it? Definitely.

P.S.S. There is an extra verse in here that I KNOW with all my being is NOT in the real intro on TV, because I had that baby memorized, and this is throwing me off. Thoughts?