Top of the Food Chain

For Christmas, my family got Planet Earth.

No not this one...

THIS one:

Anyway, we've been watching it over this nice little Christmas break, and I must say, it's taught me several things. The *MOST important thing I've learned, is to be grateful that, as a human (albeit a weird one) I'm at the top of the food chain, for the most part. I'm so so thankful to not have to be like the skittish Impala,

living in constant fear of being eaten. I don't want to even THINK about how many ulcer that guy has.

Seriously though, can we please take a moment and be grateful for that? There isn't a great white shark in my neighborhood, ready to strike at any moment. There isn't a sluethy crocodile ready to snatch up one of my older relatives at the watering hole (and drown him for an HOUR before finally eating him). There isn't a pack of dogs, who creepily employ military strategies in taking down a little cousin. There isn't a bear rummaging around my habitat, trying to eat my sweet juicy flesh when all I want to do is return to my homeland to lay my EGGS!

Gosh. I'm grateful that my worries are, "What will happen at work/school today?" instead of "Will my natural predator obliterate me or one of my family members today?"

*The second most important thing is that now I'm afraid of sharks. Crud, like I need another phobia...

Big shoes to fill...

As you may or may not know, my family is, how you say, EXTREMELY talented in many ways. My dad and brother are both especially gifted in the area of photography. I bought a fantastic camera over the Summer, and had my first opportunity for some REAL photography this Christmas break! Yesterday morning, Andrew and I set out and drove up American Fork canyon, by our house. Andrew let me use his tripod, and I actually got some pretty nice shots! It was incredibly cold, so our journeyings were cut pretty short, but I had a lot of fun. These next few photos were my favorite of the day. I don't have photoshop on my computer, so I just used the editing capabilities built in to iPhoto, and was pleased with the results, given the somewhat-crude software.

Click on the photos to enlarge.

Confused Geography

I like to do some shopping online. Holidays are a time to shop.

Based on these two facts, it's reasonable to assume that I've done some online shopping lately. One item in particular had a pretty interesting shipping route:

I'm not sure if you can see it, but it went from Phoenix to SLC to Orem to Provo and then to Highland. Meaning it passed Highland not once but TWICE before it ultimately arrived at my parents' house this afternoon. Weird. And inefficient.

Also, is it weird that it made it from Phoenix to SLC in less than 8 hours, but stayed in Orem for more than 24??

I'm not crying...

Click on this and be sad.

A Whole New World

Wow! Last week, iTunes, this week - RICE COOKERS!

I recently got a rice cooker from my parents (thanks again!). I love me some rice, but also, I love other things. Lucky for me, a rice cooker can double as a many-other-things cooker. Tonight, I made macaroni and cheese. In a rice cooker. It was quick and breezy and literally only dirtied one dish. So convenient! (Geez - I sound like an infomercial!)

Here's the recipe I used (my changes/additions are in red):

Creamy Rice Cooker Macaroni and Cheese

by Panthur

20 min | 20 min prep

SERVES 4

• 2 cups macaroni (I used fusilli)

• 1 cup chicken stock or water (that's chicken broth... right? hopefully)

• 1 cup heavy cream or half-and-half (I just used milk)

• 1 1/2 cups shredded mixed cheeses (mild cheddar, Vermont cheddar, mozzarella, and fontina) (I used some nacho cheese, some shredded cheese, and 1 1/2 slices of provolone!)

• 2 tablespoons butter

• 1/2 teaspoon salt and pepper (I omitted this - all the cheese seemed like enough sodium, thank you)

• 1 pinch cayenne pepper (nope - didn't have any)

• Several vigorous shakes of green Tobasco sauce

• 1 can tuna

1. Place pasta and liquids into rice cooker. Close lid and press cook.

2. When pasta goes to keep warm, add the other ingredients, stir with paddle. (I just used a wooden spoon - hopefully that's an acceptable substitute) Close lid and keep on warm till ready to serve. Stays terrific for hours.

Wow, that is a lot more red than I expected. I guess I didn't really follow the recipe all that well, but guess what, it turned out super great. I'm impressed with *my little guy.

Next I'm going to make rice and beans. In a rice cooker. At the same time. Is this super cool, or am I easily impressed? Or both?

*Any suggestions for names?

If only, if only, the woodpecker sighed

Wouldn't it be great if this were real? Gosh, it's pretty cruel to tug on my heart strings like that, Facebook advertising!

Reminds me of this

Dangerous

I have just entered a world that is exciting and new. It holds in it a promise for growth, personal enlightenment, expanding my horizons, and depleting my budget -- terribly quickly.

I made my first iTunes purchase.

That's right. I've had an account for about a year, but since then I've made a huge effort to only buy physical music... in the hopes of postponing the dam-break and inevitable flood known as: an iTunes store addiction.

So what was it that broke* the dam? This baby:

Walking the Dog

Fun

Aim and Ignite

They're not enormously popular, so their CD isn't widely available. I suppose I could have ordered it online... and paid for the whole album... and shipping. But the thought nearly makes me guffaw. (<--- why did I feel the need to try SO hard to fit word in to my sentence?)

I only really wanted this song. So... I did it. I sold my soul to Steve Jobs for 99 cents. I was genuinely concerned that I'd go insane - mindlessly clicking "Buy Album" on every screen I came across... but it's been 3 full days now, with no subsequent purchases, so maybe i don't need to worry.

But probably I should.

* It's really hard for me to type this word! I always type, "broek". Old habits, you know.

Oh thanks... COMMUNISM!

Saw this add on the sidebar of my facebook today. As often happens, I read a word wrong the first time I glanced at it quickly.

I thought it said, "Government chocolates delivered right to your door."

[Photo via Nature's Mugshots]

Painfully crisp. Chilling, almost violently so.

But muted, surreal, like nature's caesura.

Movement comes from dead, not dying leaves

whose dramatic suffering inspires me, every time.

Subtle smokiness pervades the heavy-hung air;

an interesting accent to lazy, water-color sunsets.

Late Fall, you certainly have your perks.

BUURRRRNNNN

I look forward to the day that I can insult an enemy by calling his/her blog a "blah-g."

Some say love... it is a plate of cookies

It's quite possible that I have the greatest Visiting Teachers in the world.

Think about it... have YOUR visiting teachers ever done something for YOU that means as much as THIS does to ME?

"MB + MJ = ♥"

Doubtful.

Methodical Madness

It's been said that everyone is OCD in some way. I'd have to agree. I wouldn't say I'm excessively ritualistic, but I do have some quirks. Especially in the way that I eat things. My mom's vice is with peanut M&M's - she has a specific way she has to eat each one. Mine is with these little babies:

Now, this picture is of a box of 50. I wish I could say I have a smaller package size, but no. I've got the Costco/industrial/preparing-for-the-apocolypse size. What can I say? They are great -- literally the best fruit snacks I've ever had. And hey, fruit juice is real fruit.... kindof.

Anyway, since you're all interested, I'll let you in on my secret for full fruit-snack enjoyment:

1) First, you have to rip open the package ravenously (this is a requirement and must be fulfilled even if you are not actually hungry, and just eating out of boredom/convenience) and retrieve a single nugget of goodness and promptly stuff it into your mouth. Don't waste time sucking on it or enjoying the flavors/textures... just chew it. Get your molars and gums nice and sticky.

2) Carefully clean your teeth with your tongue. Or leave the little bits for a baby future snack!

3) Select you favorite kind (varies with the day - tonight it was green apple) and set it aside, in a place where you won't forget about it and/or roll on top of it in the middle of the night.

4) Dump the remaining fruit snacks (usually 8-10) in your mouth. No hands required.

5) Suck on these bad boys for a really long time. It is a FRUITSPLOSION! This can take up to 15 minutes, if you're conservative, and can be a very positive time in your life.

6) After the last little fruit nub is dissolved away by the enzymes in your mouth (thank you PD BIO 120) you will be sad that it is all over. But WAIT! There's no need to shed a tear! You, being a clever lass/laddie set aside a precious wad of deliciousness and now get to enjoy that last fruit snack. You may chew a little, and suck a little, no pressure! Just go with the flow. Don't stress out about it.

See? It really is the perfect way to enjoy a li'l bag of these guys. You get to be gluttonous (see steps 1,2,4, and 5) AND guilt-free because you planned it out so very well. It's a win-win-win-win-win-win situation.

You're welcome!

To live forever

I found this MJ quote on the wonderful world of Twitter. I think it's really profound. An interesting perspective on life. I would like this clip (and the Michelangelo quote he references) even if it wasn't MJ (<-- I don't care if you don't believe me.)

http://www.ebonyjet.com/michael_jackson/MJsaved/mjaudio_immortality.swf

What can I put my soul into, in the attempt at immortality? I'll never be a famous musician or sculptor, and I won't win any Olympic medals. I'll never publish a novel, or design a popular clothing line. But maybe my mediocrity will somehow manage to not slip into obscurity. Maybe I'll develop a new drug and name it after myself! (Ideas?)

And I guess I'll always have you, you little blog. You will live forever. :)

What will you pour your soul into? How will you live forever?

Spanish Rap

This is fantastic! It's from NBC's new show: Community - starring The Soup's Joel McHale. MMMmmm. Great combination. Also, Chevy Chase is in it. MMMmmm. Great addition. Also, it's hilarious. The show - AND this clip.

Please enjoy:

Equations of our lives

Thought of the day in Chemistry today:

"CQ + PQ > IQ"

For those of you not up to date on the current lingo and/or how to interpret an expression:

"Curiosity Quotient plus Passion Quotient is greater than Intelligence Quotient"

I'm a big fan of this quote.

This is a tacky post

So... I enjoy the presence of Michael Jackson's body moonwalking above me while I sleep. For that reason, I keep a poster of Michael Jackson's body moonwalking above me while I sleep.

Lately, however, it has fallen down in the middle of the night a lot - causing me to wake up panicked - heart thumping wildly.

Just putting it back up and pushing hard in the corners where the sticky tack is doesn't cut it. So I decided to take a more... abstract and... profound approach. I reshaped the sticky tack in to hearts, replaced them on the corners of the poster, and lovingly re-attatched him to the wall.

There have been no problems since. Coincidence? I think not.

Happiness is...

I can honestly say I've never EVER been this excited for a movie before. Not even The X-Files movie. And I probably haven't looked forward to something this much since the Mika concert.

Gheeeeeeeee!!!!

International

This man:

Recently (as in 3 days ago) released his second album called:

Which is now in the iTunes top 10 list in EVERY COUNTRY IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Whoa!

P.S. This is my 100th blog post! 

I recently visited the site: www.howmanyofme.com which compiles data from recent US Census records to estimate how many name twins you have.

This is my result:

Obviously I'm flattered to be the one, but I'm a bit concerned. What if there are fewer than 1?

Pros and Cons #1

OF HAVING 3 ARMS

Pros:

Doing your hair would be a lot easier - especially braiding, or wielding a roundbrush, comb, AND hairdryer simultaneously!

You could hold three light sabers at the same time! (and if they’re double-bladed, that’s 6 BLADES --- almost as cool as Darth Grevious)

You could walk more dogs

If you were a surgeon, that would be real helpful

Then you would have 5 limbs (not counting your head), so you could make a pentagon out of a loop of string, instead of just the current, boring square. (<--- delete from your memory, pretty weak)

PIANO! It would be SUCH an advantage. It would be difficult to adjust the music, but if you worked at it, the rewards could be momentous.

Cons:

More fingernails to take care of

More time spent shaving (Would you get anther armpit?)

You’d have to relearn how to type (or just let the third arm dangle uselessly)

Where would it go?
        Sternum? If so, can’t sleep on your stomach, bummer.
        Back? Can’t sleep on back
        Somewhere else? Not symmetrical. Annoying.

You may be shunned (unless EVERYONE started to do it!)

How would this affect your ability to hug people?




SO... you get to decide for yourself if this would be worth it to you. This blog is not a site of indoctrination, but rather a forum for information to be presented - in an unbiased way. Appreciate how fair I have been, giving equal numbers of pros as cons. Please soak in the arguments, then ponder it, consider it, deeply deliberate within your heart. Then report back.

You’re welcome for the intellectual stimulation!

Secret Fear...

Every time I crack an egg for baking, scrambling, frying, after boiling, or basically EVER... I'm secretly scared that a lifeless, wet, heaving, squishy-sound-making, disgusting, half-formed chick corpse is going to plop out. 

It bothers me to think about.

I really AM in college!

This is my first year in an apartment. I lived in the dorms last year, which was fantastic - but it's definitely different than being in an actual apartment. In an apartment, you do things like: clean, buy garbage cans, go shopping, have an actual living room, cook your own food, etc. It is quite the adventure and I am LOVING it! 

I've heard lots of crazy stories about poor college students forced into doing innovatively (<-- made that word up) clever things because of their poverty/laziness. Well, folks, I've finally got one of my own!

So... the other night, I made a cake. I had all the ingredients: a pan, a cakemix, some eggs, and some oil. Wonderful! The mix is whipped, the pan is pammed, the batter is poured, the baby is IN the oven. But wait... no frosting. Bummer. This is almost an emergency situation! I had a great parking spot, so I REALLY didn't want to leave and go to the store. Then... what?? Mehlanie is going to the store? What glorious news. I will just ask her to pick up some frosting. What a dearie. "Please get the funfetti kind!" I yelled, as she walked out of our apartment with her countenance shining radiantly because of her good deeds, "or just white, if they don't have funfetti."

What a wonderful chain of events. I get frosting, I get my parking spot, and Mehlanie gets the satisfaction of being a good friend. You might say that we had our cake, and could eat it too! But you wouldn't say that, because that would be really lame and not funny. 

Fast forward an hour >>>>> and Mehlanie is back. With the frosting. She hands it to us:

Yes, that's right. It's a tube of decorating frosting. "They didn't have the kind in a tub, so I had to get this kind."

**Moment of awkwardish silence**

Bah ha! So great. Kelsey and I are pumped to decorate this sucker. Here are some pictures of the lovely product. It's a real college-y masterpiece. Enjoy:

One word: birdpoop

This picture would be a lot cooler if you could see that I was squeezing the tube of frosting!!

Precious, Kels!

Yes, that's right. I'm too cheap to serve cake on an ENTIRE paper plate! The pieces were served on 1/4 plates. I am that cool.

Obviously it was a big hit with roommates and next-door-neighbors alike.

He'll be there

Let's add something ELSE to the list of things that make me cry (bellow like a birthing cow).

This Pepsi commercial from 1992 is a masterpiece. I've never cried harder at a commercial before. Not even that one that tells the story of the little girl who grows up and eventually gets married and has a daddy/daughter dance at her reception - all with American Express helping her throughout her life. And THAT is saying something.

This clip shows 3 slightly different versions. I can't stop watching it - it's really, really beautiful, and touching, and even: precious. I can't gush enough. Just watch!

We can only hope...

Remember the other day (month... year) when I was bragging about how awesome my father is? Yeah, well, more evidence is surfacing.

Tonight we were talking, and upon hearing about how MJ's doctor waited 84 minutes after he stopped breathing to call 911, and the inevitable lawsuit that will be pressed, he reasonably stated, "Well, the only thing I can say about his doctor, is that I hope he moves on to Britney Spears next."

Ha! Classic. Priceless. Timeless. Perfect. 

I am SO lucky. 

One year older and wiser too

My Dear Mika,

Happy Birthday! The big 2-6. Congratulations. When you first came on the scene you were just a little baby 23 year old, but just LOOK at how you've grown! You sometimes wear jeans instead of only rainbow pants (and you've hopefully gotten rid of these). Your hair has transformed from rigid ringlet curls to ugly Ken Barbie doll straight to a happy medium. And you sold out a stadium show of 55,000 people on your FIRST album! How impressive. Your new album is bound to be a big success. Hope your 26th year is rewarding and exciting, and that it involves a (few) stop(s) in SLC. Or better yet, my living room.

Love you love you LOVE you,

Melissa

Weird Al, are you listening?

I've got a great idea for a song. A parody of Michael Jackson's Liberian Girl. I'll call it

Librarian Girl. Clever, right?

I've already got a couple lines worked out. Awesome.

Weird Al, I'll let you use my idea as long as I can be in the music video.

Mystery Solved

Do you find yourself laying in bed at night... tossing and turning... just wondering - nay - DYING TO KNOW what the love child of Mika and Prince would sound/look like? Well, my friends. You will sleep well tonight because I have solved the problem!!

His name is Sliimy (pronounced Slee-mee) and he is French. He's gayer than Richard Simmons wrapped up in a rainbow blanket singing N*Sync, but he's BEAUTIFUL. Seriously. 

Please enjoy his beautiful face, and, if you're okay with super camp pop songs, his first single: Wake Up. The video is gorgeous - totally hypnotizing. 

Thoughts?

Goodbye, Hello

Planning surprise parties on Summer nights.

Discussing the finer details of Harry Potter.

Turban-tying and pancake cake.

Macaroni Grill with lip gloss that is poppin'.

Gateway mall, muddy buddies.

Puttin' them boys on *rock rock*.

Guitar Hero, Zupas, graduation.

Sleepovers, boyfriend game and 4 kings

become less fun when "husband" is already chosen.

But saying goodbye to single Gretchen...

means saying hello to Team GW

The only worthy replacement.