Too much time

Now, you all (why do I assume my audience is so vast? - let me start over)

Now, you 4 people that read my blog know that I love a good laugh. Sometimes, humor comes on a wrapper, sometimes it's well thought out, sometimes it's because a kid with aspergers that likes to wear cutoffs makes video blogs. SOMETIMES, however, it's just plain random, and requires a lot of effort. Sometimes I like that the best.

I don't follow many people on Twitter, but I tell you what - I followed THIS profile in a jiffy.

Someone made a Twitter page for Chewbacca (yes, the wookie, how many Chewbacca's do you know?) Anyway, here's a sample:

*wheeze-laughing*

oh geez- that gets me every time! I honestly can't help but giggle when I look at it. The fact that someone took the time to make this page, and type out those distinctive moans... well... it just brightens my heart.

Laughs by the foot

A couple weeks back, I was having a real hard time. Discouragement in school, and such. SO, my lovely family sent me a care package. It had all sorts of nice things: letters, chocolate, music, gum, etc. Little did they know that the thing that would end up cheering me up slash making me laugh the most would be a box of fruit by the foot.

Aside from being 124% sugar and 53% food coloring, they're pretty harmless, right? WRONG.

The following is a sampling of the terrifically horrific jokes I got to read every time I ate one of these bad puppies.

What happens when the sun is replaced with fruit by the foot?

You need to wear fruit block

What happened when the owl was replaced by fruit by the foot?

It was a fruit hoot

What is long and green?

Your fruit by the foot disguised as a python

What's sweet and scores touchdowns?

A fruit by the foot-ball

What does the barber give you when you replace your hair with fruit by the foot?

A hair chew

Replace your tuxedo with Fruit by the Foot and what are you?

In a fruit suit

My question is, who the HECK keeps trying to replace body parts and everyday objects with fruit by the foot??? And who is actually LAUGHING at these feeble attempts at humor? The answer to both is: me.

Less-Than-Lucid Hilarity

Okay, so maybe this belongs more in my dream blog, but I wasn't really asleep, so I guess not.

These experiences were just too funny to not share, so here you go!

This is my roommate Liz:

She is great! She puts up my my sleep-insanity, and I put up with hers. The fact that we're both extremely light sleepers means that we remember the great and funny things that we tell each other in our sleep!

Keep in mind that these next two conversations happened between the hours of 2 and 5 in the morning, last semester.

Liz: Hey Melissa?

Me: (groggy)Yeah?

Liz: Spinach is purple, right? And cabbage and grapes too?

and another:

Me: Lizzy?

Liz: Yeah?

Me: When you were in high school, did you ever cook dinner for Hitler?

Liz: No... I don't think so!

Me: Well what about that other dictator, the... the... the Dutch one?

Liz: I think you are dreaming...

(By that time I had woken up enough to distinguish between dreams and reality - too bad)

What do these experiences teach me? That I wish I could remember ALL my dreams, if they're all that random!

Oh hey, Big H! You stayin' for dinner?

Until...

You all know about my many, many, many, many, many, many obsessions.

But there's another one that I don't think I've blogged about before. It's called Phantom of the Opera. Oh goodness, Gerard gets me every time. There was one summer that I had the movie so well memorized that my friend Amy and I recited the entire thing, word for word, taking turns who got to be Christine and who had to be the Phantom/Raoul/Everyone else in the scene.

Well... Andrew Lloyd Weber has made a sequel entitled "Love Never Dies." It opened in London last week, and comes to Broadway in November. Apparently the plot is a dud, but this song is SO promising! Love it. I have no idea who the guy is, but Sierra Boggess (who played Ariel in The Little Mermaid on Broadway) is playing Christine. She has an INCREDIBLE voice. Here's her singing the title track.

But what I REALLY wanted to show you is THIS gem! Very encouraging that even if the plot stinks, it will still have a great album! His voice is achingly rich. And let's be honest, he's pretty easy on the eyes.

Thoughts?

Dear Crayola

Attached is a list I've compiled of names for new crayons for you to make. I think you should use them because they have great imagery, and I feel like a lot of people could personally identify with them. I won't charge you anything for my ideas as long as you send me a box for free.

Love,

Melissa

Spring Leaves

Ariel's Hair Red

Hamburger-grease Orange

Dried-up Oatmeal

Sopping Newspaper

Michael Jackson's Glove Sparkle

Unripe Watermelon Pink

Morgan Hansen's Eyes Blue

Split-Pea Soup

Wet Sawdust

Pollution Sunset

Hooker-blue Eyeshadow

Unicorn Blood

Big-Bird Yellow

Thriller Jacket Red

British Teeth

Smoky Full-Moon

Ripe Pumpkin

Dead Worms on the Sidewalk Pink

Melted Superman Ice Cream

Edward Scissorhands Skin

Mika Pants Orange

Chocolate Frosty

Wet Ivy

Melted-slush Grey-Brown

After-Dinner Mints

Golden Marshmallow (**might already be an officially recognized color)

Chinchilla

Café Rio House Dressing

Old Lady Pink

Talent like they've never seen before

March 5, 2009

I was in the middle of my first winter semester here at BYU.

Three days earlier, an announcement was made, that there was going to be an announcement made. Very organized, you see.

I talked it up to all my friends, I called my mom, and assured EVERYONE that I'd relay the good news, once I heard.

I brought my computer on campus with me so that I could check online to see what it was all about, because 7 o'clock London time equals noon here.

"The final curtain call"

Although I knew I couldn't afford $200 concert tickets, much less a trip to London, the news was exciting, reassuring. Even though I knew I'd be experiencing these concerts via shaky cell-phone video camera footage hastily posted on youtube, it was something to look forward to.

Sadly, the concerts never came to fruition. While I would have loved for Michael and all the dancers to have the chance to perform this comeback tour in the O2 Arena, the movie documentary is excellent - a very intimate look at just how involved MJ was in every aspect of the performance. As much of a showman as he was a singer, songwriter and dancer.

"See you in July" he promised.

Some anniversaries are sad.

Here I leave you with some clips from one of my very favorite songs from the movie.

Have any of you seen the movie? What were YOUR favorite parts?