I have issues

This confession is hardly a surprise.

However.

The insanity runs even deeper than you might think.

I have problems with beds. Not all beds, just all beds that aren't mine.

You see, I can't sleep in sheets.

There. I've said it. Bring out the pitchforks.

People think I'm crazy, but I just can't stand feeling constricted!

So, I sleep on top of the fitted sheet, flat sheet, thin blanket, and quilt/comforter, and under a completely different blanket.

I guess if I wanted to get real fancy I could always try to coordinate the top blanket to at least MATCH my top quilt. But I'm not there yet.

In all my journeyings (which, admittedly, mainly involve traveling back and forth between a mere 20 miles or so) I've only met one other soul that shares my sheety problem. And even he just sleeps on top of his sheets, but under his top quilt.

I just can't handle it.

A couple years ago, in the dorms, I tried to sleep under sheets. I really did. But I had a minor panic attack and had to get up (after laying awake for what seemed like an eternity but was most likely about 12 minutes) and dramatically make my bed, then triumphantly sleep ON TOP OF everything. It was like taking a cool, cleansing, fire-sqaulming breath after being held underwater, fruitlessly gasping for air to no avail.

Wow.

So do YOU have any sleeping issues? Any OCD tendencies when it comes to your bedding?

New Project

Hello, all!

I have decided to start up another project - in addition to this one, no worries.

It is called, a DAILY HAIKU BLOG!

I've been playing a hefty amount of haiku game with my family and friends lately, and (with the inspiration of this guy and his blog) decided to make my own - an effort to more permanently preserve the little ditties I encounter. Also, it will be cranially stimulating for everyone involved.

It's a little... plain-jane right now, but don't you fret, I'll spice her up in no time.

It will be a compilation of funny, poignant, cute, weird, and thought-provoking haikus that are dear to my little heart. Some will be written by me, some as a joint family effort, and some from outside sources/guest authors (I try to be fair, you know?)

Anyway, check her out:

anythingforyouhaiku.blogspot.com

Topic suggestions are welcome - hope you enjoy!

People are cute

I've been thinking lately.

You know how sometimes animals are cute? Well I think that sometimes humans can be cute too.

Like... when we hug. That is cute of us! Who invented that?

Also... when we make cute food.

Also... when we say cute things. Like "My foot fell asleep!"

What? That's adorable! Instead of saying, "The circulation in my foot has steadily decreased to the point where the nerves are firing rapid signals to my brain" we say that it simply fell asleep!

That is really cute of us.

What have YOU noticed about us (humans, of course) that you think is cute?

Pretty Powerful

Look at this picture.

Really look at it.

Now look at it again.

Now click on it to get an enlarged picture if necessary.

Isn't that hilarious? I love it. For only $99.99 you can harness the power of this incredible projector.

Immature Schmimmature

20 years old.

And still...

a Ring Pop is both entertaining and delicious!

Introducing...

I want you all to meet my new friend.

His name is Velocirapt the Velociraptor.

He is loyal, charming, and of course - terrifically violent with a special tendency to conquer everything in sight.

Conquering our fridge

Conquering some foilage

Conquering our vacuum cleaner

Conquering the fax machine at my work

Conquering some drugs at my work (a muscle relaxant is obviously what he needs)

Conquering the frozen yogurt

Conquering my speakers

Conquering a mini pumpkin

Conquering Ian's shoes

Conquering my pretty babyface guitar

Conquering tangled hair - he can be a comb! Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Step 4. Voila! Tangle-free

Conquering even a mighty MacBook

Conquering my heart.

I think you can all agree that he is the greatest thing.

We are best friends forever.

I'd like to close with a precious little haiku we wrote as a family. This is for you, Velocirapt!

Velociraptor

Biting, gnashing, destroying-

Conqueror of all

Riddle me this...

And no, the answer is not "pilgrims"

(also please don't make fun of the fact that I apparently can't say "May showers" without sounding strained.)

Totally Crushing

I once heard someone say that they had a crush on Steve Perry's voice. I think that is a delightful way to put it. There are lots of strangely explicit things that I have crushes on too.

Below is a quick list I've come up with so far

(They are hyperlinked to pictures, where appropriate.)

My cat's majestic face

Patrick Stewart's distinguished head

Every single thing about Leonard Nimoy

Mika's intriguing accent

Michael Jackson's pure-bliss smile

Bret McKenzie's neck beard

the twinkle in book-Dumbledore's eyes

Gerard Butler's accent

Sawyer's (from Lost) rugged stubble

Freddie Mercury's super manly mustache

Hugh Grant's witty banter

David Duchovny's coy smirk

Edward Scissorhands' lonely eyes

Alec Baldwin's thick head of hair

Jim Dale's narrating voice

Andy Samberg's half-smile

Mmm...mmm... good.

What are YOUR weirdly specific crushes? if you think about it for a moment - it's easy to come up with a pretty good list