Lately I've been trying to only say positive things. I realized that many of my posts are whining about things/people/customs that annoy me.
Well, maybe I'll become Mother Theresa some day, but for today...
I love to cook (mostly bake), and I find and try new recipes all the time. Thanks to Katie who introduced me to this terribly addicting site, my summer has been filled with much experimentation.
For the most part, this has been a wonderfully rewarding thing! But between all the cooking sites I frequent, and reading through our many cookbooks, I've discovered certain annoyances when it comes to recipes.
I've listed and expounded upon my grievances below (for your convenience)
1) Don't call a recipe "Homemade _________". For example, "Homemade Chocolate Cake" or "Homemade Stir Fry". Seriously? Hello - I KNOW I'm making homemade cookies - since I'm LOOKING UP A RECIPE FOR THEM INSTEAD OF BUYING THEM AT THE GROCERY STORE. Geez Louise. I guess they're trying to clarify and distinguish themselves from the cretins who submit... (see number two)
2) Recipes for things that don't require recipes. It's annoying. I'm pretty sure that if I bought a tube of biscuits (you know, the kind that scare the bejeebus out of you as they produce a minor nuclear explosion when you break the seal) - I would be able to GUESS that I should put them on a cookie sheet and bake them in the oven. And you know what else? If for some reason I couldn't figure that out, the kind folks at EVERY PACKAGING COMPANY IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE have included instructions right there on the tube! So... Mary L.* from Norfolk, VA** - it was completely pointless of you to send that in, and quite a stretch to call it a "recipe."
3) Don't create/submit a recipe for something that takes normal food and makes it look like something I don't want to eat. For an example, click here. Alright, eating eggs is risky enough. I don't want to dress them up as what could have been! Gross! You don't see people making pig-shaped bacon sculptures! Or discussing dirty sweaty udders while drinking a cup of milk! For some things, it's just better to not think about where they came from.
4) Please be either plain or creative when it comes to your recipe names. But don't cop out and name it after someone. If I see another "Russ' Favorite Stew" or " Jennifer's Pumpkin Cookies" I will go find a puppy somewhere and punch it in the throat.*** On that note, however, don't do what I'm about to whine about in number 5.
5) Don't use qualifying words in your recipe title. In my ward cookbook there is a certain submitter who is a very nice woman, but whose recipe names make me want to hurl a grenade at her face.*** Every single recipe of hers has the word "yummy" "good" or "delicious" in the title. "Yummy Potatoes" "Delicious Cherry Pie" "Really Good Carrots" - it is ridiculous. I kid you not, one of her recipes is called "Yum Yum Chicken". BARF.
Whelp - there you have it. I'm apparently in a mean-spirited mood, but seriously - those things are annoying!!
*Name was made up
** Location was made up
*** exaggeration
8 comments:
wow! that website is awesome! I can't wait to try stuff out when I have a stove and oven! haha
also, i agree with everything said.
Have you been taking funny pills? I'm dying here.
Totally busting @ the violence, too. punching puppies & hurling grenades at ladies' faces. oh man.
Yum Yum Chicken, ha ha. I'm pretty sure that was a recipe for baby food. <-- at first i put "baby puree" and i was like, wait a minute... worst recipe title EVER. Maybe you'd like it though? ;)
Oh, I'll have to give you my recipe for Meagan's Yum Yum Canned Olives. It's basically directions for opening a can of olives.
Haha I didn't realize that anyone even looked at those links. They were mainly for my benefit of remembering the sites... But seriously, I was laughing a lot while reading this. Let me know if you find any good recipes. I am dying to make something new and it seems like every cook book I have has the same recipes...
Super funny, Melissa. That egg picture just about made me barf, but I especially loved the star footnotes at the bottom.
Okay this post was GREAT! haha :)
Well, MY recipe pet peeve is when the recipe says things like, "In a small bowl, combine blah blah." It makes we want to rebel and mix the ingredients in a MEDIUM-sized bowl, or a cardboard box or some other vessel. Or when it says to cook something in a saucepan on the stove - REALLY? I thought I should just put the margarine on the burner. I didn't know I needed a pan! Good thing you told me!
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